mentor

WHAT MENTORING THROUGH TLF HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT REAL LOVE

in Mentor Stories  by Sam K 0 comments

One of the biggest blessings in my life has become mentoring my youth at TLF. My heart cries joyful tears in getting to know such a special person. I have been mentoring her for over three years now, and she has added a lot of fun and joy to my life. I could have never asked for or imagined what this journey would hold, and it far exceeded my expectations.

I have seen my mentee grow in self-confidence and know who she is as God made her.

I didn’t expect to grow as much as I have. The biggest change through this relationship has been my capacity to love. This is not about changing someone but meeting them where they are at. I entered into this relationship thinking I was coming in as an agent of change that I was going to teach her, rescue her, and show her “the way.”

Instead, I have learned to be a true agent of change, it’s simply about loving and being there for my mentee. I say “simple” because it is doing the obvious things that may not seem like huge impactors, but they are–like listening, remembering what she’s shared, and asking good questions. It doesn’t take a lot.

We do all kinds of things together: bowling, hiking, watching movies, playing Monopoly, eating out, and talking. We enjoy outdoor concerts with picnics and attending plays. We have attended several independent living workshops together and go to church every Sunday together.

Our latest favorite thing to do is to go walking and talk at the beach. We also work on a lot of practical life goals. She has become a part of my family.

Children in foster care have a million people telling them what to do–they go years without a voice. though they have done nothing wrong.

What they truly need is not someone telling them what to do, but someone who is on their side. This looks like listening, caring, advocating, and having fun with them. I have learned so much about the practicalities of love through her and the heart God has given me for her.

Most of all, I see the need for how He is looking for willing vessels who will partner with Him. I cannot put enough words to how moved my heart is in experiencing the growth of my mentee and the privilege of our relationship.

 

For 15 years, our amazing volunteers, mentors, donors, and partners have helped thousands of courageous young women and men to rebuild their lives. Your generous support has provided TLF with the tools we need to be the church in action–with an unwavering commitment to change the course of lives of some of our nation’s most vulnerable youth experiencing abuse and neglect. You hold a special place in all of TLF’s hearts!

 

 

Picture This:

in Our Youth  by Sam K 0 comments

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
-Mark Twain

Taking the first step is often the hardest part of any journey. At TLF, we know that helping at risk youth with foundational steps is crucial to their future success. The Network  courses are designed to give them the preventative resources they need to make a successful transition into adulthood.

The Network is an employment readiness program that will help participants learn how to navigate conflict in the workplace, build strong communication skills, and take ownership of their professional development.

Picture this:

Louis
Louis is enrolled in TLF’s new employment readiness initiative. Since exiting foster care, he has had difficulty landing a job. However, with the guidance of a group mentor through The Network, Louis feels empowered to make changes that will improve his future prospects. These changes include being more disciplined on social media channels and setting boundaries while also being encouraging and upbeat. Louis completes The Network’s “employment readiness program” and is then connected with an internship in his desired career path, which leads to full-time employment.

Anna
Anna, who is set to graduate high school in a few months, seeks to gain an edge in the job market by becoming more confident in her interview skills. She knows that being better prepared will help her feel more confident when speaking with potential employers.

Anna completes TLF’s employment readiness program.  Through the program, she has the opportunity to practice describing her skills clearly and identifying areas of growth. She is able to identify specific examples from her life that illustrate how these skills will be beneficial in a work setting. Through networking in the program, Anna is introduced to a hiring manager, and she is ecstatic to use the skills she learned in a real-life setting to move towards a career.

Jessica
Jessica is experiencing some communication difficulties with a few colleagues at her new job. She wants to learn how to better handle this type of conflict in the workplace so that she can continue supporting herself financially. Her friend Louis tells her about TLF’s new employment readiness program, The Network, and says that it helped him work through some similar issues.

Jessica is committed to understanding the 7 C’s of communication, ensuring that her messages are: clear, concise, concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous. She is pleasantly surprised by how frequently talking through the 7 C’s of communication in conversation enhances her relationship with coworkers. After several weeks of putting the 7 C’s into practice, Jessica is able to effectively resolve the communication difficulties she was experiencing at work.

The Network is a great opportunity for at risk youth to learn the skills they need to be successful in the workforce. Join us as we expand!

 

Be There

in Mentor Stories  by Sam K 0 comments

This past year I was given a 17-year-old camper to lead for Teen Leadership Camp weekend. We’ll call her Sherrie. Sherrie was a particularly complicated girl. At times she was so mature but could suddenly switch over to reveal the broken heart of a very needy child.

She informed me how much she despises team building activities at camp because she never wants to be touched without her consent. As Sherrie spoke, she opened up about her years of sexual abuse and how difficult it is for her to accept physical contact from others.

Sherrie told me she considered herself to be a Christian, but she didn’t believe God existed. I told her it wasn’t possible to have it both ways…that being a Christian required faith in God. Then she explained that she didn’t believe He existed because He never answered her when she called for help during those years of abuse. I momentarily wondered if I should have somehow better prepared myself to answer this deep theological conundrum. You see, before camp, I found myself worrying I wasn’t spiritually “fit” or “adequate” enough to lead these teens.

I took a breath and told Sherrie that I don’t understand why God doesn’t always rescue us when we ask, but I did know that He had a plan to make something beautiful out of her life if she would let Him. Sherrie became extremely angry at that moment and began to shut me out. I told her I would be praying that God would reveal Himself to her and that she would experience the great peace He has to offer. She responded, “Whatever floats your boat,” and walked away.

Our next activity was chapel. I found Sherrie sitting alone so I sat by her, making sure to give her plenty of space. As chapel went on, she slid a little closer and a closer to me until she was right next to me. Then she held my hand. Then she leaned. Then her head was on my shoulder. Finally, her other hand found its way into the front pocket of my sweatshirt where she clutched tighter and tighter onto the fabric to the point where I’m certain her knuckles were white. I wrapped my arms around her in a big bear hug, rocked her, and told her I loved her.

Sherrie and I stayed in the chapel, and I never let go. I hugged and cried. That was my job. That’s what God put me there for at that very moment. I told her I was so sorry for all the pain she had gone through. She never pulled away once. It reminded me of holding my own girls when they were toddlers.

Later after all the campers had gone home, one of the other counselors told me that Sherrie had shared with her about our time in the chapel where we had held each other so tightly. Sherrie told her that it had meant more to her than I would ever know because she’s never felt that safe around someone, someone who could hold her, listen to her, and love her in her most honest and vulnerable state.

That truly was my job that weekend. Not to be a spiritual encyclopedia, but to be the hands and feet of Christ. To love with Christ’s love. To be available.

We’d like to extend our heartfelt thanks for your support and partnership with TLF, which has made events like this possible. It’s national foster care month, and we want to thank you for supporting us.

The First Step

in Our Youth  by Sam K 0 comments

We often get asked “where do you begin?” when a resident joins the Launch Pad.

And the answer is, we begin, after the initial move in, with a series of foundational steps geared towards real life training.

But it all starts with opening a bank account and learning how to budget.

Transitioning to adulthood and independence is challenging for any teenager, but the transition to life outside of foster care may be even more intimidating for teenagers who have spent their entire lives in the system. The knowledge and skills they need cannot be learned on the spot at the last minute as they exit care. In most cases the preparation needed for the challenges that come are not taught prior to leaving foster care. And this void of life skills training is where we like to start.

Underprivileged youth often pay in money orders and certified checks. At the Launch Pad it is a value to open a bank account and begin to gain access to the technology world as a start to a long process of learning the necessary life skills needed for long term sustainability.

Yessenia, a new resident at the Launch Pad, didn’t even know where to begin because she left foster care without her original birth certificate or social security card. Left to her own devices, she would certainly have faced daunting challenges.

We have come alongside her to help her apply for and obtain the necessary identification to begin the process.

This is why the Launch Pad housing is so essential for young people who have just left foster care, as it allows us to walk beside and assist them in acquiring the knowledge and abilities they require to live as independent adults.

We’re glad to be able to enter into this gap with foster youths such as Yessenia and assist them in getting the support they need to succeed.

The Impact of Mentoring | Teen Leadership Foundation

in Our Youth  by Lisa 0 comments
The transition to independent living can be challenging, especially for teens who have left foster care—often at the age of 18 with little support and few skills. By the age of 26, 36% of those who ‘aged out’ of foster care have experienced homelessness.
Being male, having run away while in foster care, having been physically or sexually assaulted, experiencing foster-care instability, or displaying signs of mental health difficulties are all examples of risk factors that can lead to homelessness. Access to transitional housing programs for adolescents, assisting youth build financial stability before they leave foster care, and mentorship and support to develop the skills to live independently all aided in preventing homelessness.

We believe prevention is critical. AT TLF, our mission is to improve the lives of at-risk foster teens through our leadership equipping programs. We provide assistance and direction for teens who are on the verge of being “aged out” of the foster care system. Our initiatives give teens avenues into adulthood with a safety net surrounding them.

Getting kids ready for life after high school is essential to our goal of preparing them for what comes next, including adulthood. We want them to be able to take off when they become independent, not flounder back into a life of instability and more trauma.

At the core of Teen Leadership Foundation is a mentoring program that links adult volunteers with foster teens. The aim of the program is to assist these youth in preparing for adulthood by guiding them to finish high school, obtain driver’s licenses, learn parenting skills and budgeting, apply to college, and move them towards vocational training and finding jobs.

A mentor may be the first caring adult in the youth’s life who has shown an interest in him or her. These youth desperately need a sense of belonging. Our mentors have a significant influence on our mentees. They form meaningful relationships, which has a long-lasting impact on kids’ lives.

While the beautiful simplicity of a mentor relationship is often the solution, the absence of a mentor can be detrimental. When we do not intervene early on with loving assistance, the problem becomes more difficult to address and more costly to handle. We can help foster youth get back on track in a timely manner if we can ensure that they constantly receive care and support during a brief window of time.

But we can’t do this without your help. There is a list of both male and female teens waiting to be matched! Many of the youths we serve have been bounced from home to home, and they don’t feel secure or supported. They desperately need a mentor who can be a consistent source of support and encouragement.

If you would like to be part of the solution, please apply at https://teenleadershipfoundation.app.neoncrm.com/np/clients/teenleadershipfoundation/survey.jsp?surveyId=4&

Loads Filled with Love

A Load Filled with Love

in Mentor Stories  by Lisa 0 comments

It’s funny how simple things can make such a difference.

Sue and her small group put together a basket during our Loads of Love campaign for one of our new residents at the Launch Pad, who moved in at the beginning of September. The basket they dropped off made its way into the hands of our new resident Daysha, an eighteen-year-old young woman transitioning into independence.

Daysha moved in with minimal personal items. When our staff gave her the basket, filled with toiletries and essentials for moving in, she was very appreciative and shared that it meant a lot to her that we would support her in that way.

Daysha has big dreams and we are excited about helping her achieve them. Daysha is pursuing a program for Culinary School, as she desires to become a chef.  She is currently working with our Program Coordinator to find a part-time job, is learning about how to budget, and is studying to take her Drivers’ Permit test.

Daysha has the most difficulty with establishing healthy boundaries with her family and motivating herself to prioritize her own aspirations over family obligations and desires. She is also overcoming her anxiety of not being able to achieve her objectives through therapy.

We are excited for Daysha! We believe she will accomplish all that she sets out to do. Thank you Sue for your thoughtful gift filled with encouragement!

The Launch Pad is a family-based community-based in Orange County, CA that supports young adults ages 18 to 21 who have been emancipated from foster care, those participating in extended foster care, and those at risk of homelessness. We are much more than simply a safeguard for these youngsters; we provide them with a safe and permanent family while working to assist them to realize their unrealized potential and ambitions.

We provide a wide range of services and assistance that picks up where foster care leaves off. We develop a unique “take-off plan” for each young adult to achieve his or her objectives in life. A variety of support and activities, including budget coaches, tutors, employment and education planning, daily living, exercise, and fitness, is available through our local partners.

Would you like to make someone’s day by giving them something special? Want help picking it out? Contact us at 949-899-8100.

Art Therapy

Art Therapy

in Our Youth  by Lisa 0 comments

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Some of our Launch Pad residents spent a peaceful afternoon working through art therapy for inner exploration. The young women giggled and murmured as they created paintings depicting the joy in their lives.

At our Santa Ana Launch Pad home, the Hanger was an ideal location to spread out and express oneself. Multi-talented Karin of Framewerk Imaging, our own social enterprise, shared his therapeutic training by leading residents in the exercise.

Every one of them, in their own words, stated how much they liked it. The emotional release of drawing, painting, or sculpture can have healing and therapeutic effects for foster youth. These calming methods of working through emotions and expressing oneself can help to understand certain things that talk therapy cannot articulate.

At The Launch Pad, we are much more than simply a guardian for these young people; instead, we work with them to help them realize their untapped potential and ambitions. We provide a variety of services and support that help kids transition into adulthood. A personalized “take-off strategy” is developed to meet each young person’s unique life objectives.

Your kindness and care for our Launch Pad residents has helped make this wonderful creative break and other activities like it possible. Thank you so much for your love and attention to these young women as they begin rebuilding their lives — it is appreciated!

A mentors perspective

in Our Youth  by Lisa 0 comments

My first summer going to camp was “interesting.”  I didn’t want to go originally, but a friend kept bugging me over and over again to go.  Eventually I caved in and signed up.  I met Sydney and immediately noticed how outgoing she was…which was REALLY good because I was nervous.  Throughout the entire camp she led a small group of people (campers and counselors) around the low ropes course.  I didn’t have to think hardly at all because she just did it all.  I remember the first camp FLEW BY WAAAY TOO FAST and I was really bummed to say bye to Sydney.  I had so much fun completing challenges with her, rushing to breakfast together, getting beat in card games, and hearing pieces of her story.  As I drove home I was already thinking about the second year and hoping she would show up.  I wanted to beat her at cards, learn more about her, and scream louder as she tackled the high ropes and zip line.  When she showed up the second year I got a HUGE hug and it was hard for me to not to think about how quickly camp would end.  By the third year we kind of just expected to see each other and running jump-hugs ensued.  Our third camp was held at a different location so we were able to “explore” the activities “for the first time” again.  I started thinking about mentoring Sydney outside of camp after our third camp ended. .  The last two years at camp has been very different for us.  Other counselors are meeting their campers for the first time, and mine already knows I need coffee ASAP when I wake up.  Other counselors don’t know what to say to their camper, we have inside jokes…from three years ago.  Over the last five years, I have met many kids through Teen Leadership Camp, but Sydney will always be my munchkin.  Since our first camp I have watched her heart grow so much.  When she was twelve she struggled trying to find explanations for her situation, now at sixteen she isn’t consumed by those reasons.  She focuses, instead, on her future goals and college plans.  When she was twelve she got along with everybody because of her bouncy personality, now she gets along with everyone because she listens to their stories and shares in their pain.  Sydney stands out from other kids in many ways.  She is very self motivated and thoughtful.  She always helps to take care of her little sister and at camp she looks out for other rookie campers.  She isn’t swayed by peer pressure and she isn’t intimidated to stand up for what’s right.  She has found an obvious inner peace with GOD and that brings SO MUCH beauty to her face and joy to her voice.

– Tina; TLC counselor and mentor